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( Read Epub ) ë A Year In The Merde ó Paul West, a young Englishman, arrives in Paris to start a new job and finds out what the French are really like They do eat a lot of cheese, some of which smells like pigs droppings They don t wash their armpits with garlic soap Going on strike really is the second national participation sport after p tanque And, yes, they do use suppositoriesIn his first novel, Stephen Clarke gives a laugh out loud account of the pleasures and perils of being a Brit in France Less quaint than A Year in Provence, less chocolatey than Chocolat, A Year in the Merde will tell you how to get served by the grumpiest Parisian waiter how to make perfect vinaigrette every time how to make amour not war and how not to buy a house in the French countryside A YEAR IN THE MERDE is the almost true account of the author s adventures as an expat in Paris Based loosely on his own experiences and with names changed to avoid embarrassment, possible legal action and to prevent the author s legs being broken by someone in a Yves Saint Laurent suit or quite possibly, a Christian Dior skirt , A YEAR IN THE MERDE is the story of a Paul West, a 27 year old Brit who is brought to Paris by a French company to open a chain of British tea rooms He soon beco A YEAR IN THE MERDE is the almost true account of the author s adventures as an expat in Paris Based loosely on his own experiences and with names changed to avoid embarrassment, possible legal action and to prevent the author s legs being broken by someone in a Yves Saint Laurent suit or quite possibly, a Christian Dior skirt , A YEAR IN THE MERDE is the story of a Paul West, a 27 year old Brit who is brought to Paris by a French company to open a chain of British tea rooms He soon becomes immersed in the contradictions of French culture the French are not all cheese eating surrender monkeys, though they do eat a lot of smelly cheese they are still in shock at being stupid enough to sell Louisiana, thus losing the chance to make French the global language, while going on strike is the second national participation sport after p tanque He also illuminates how to get the best out of the grumpiest Parisian waiter, how to survive a French business meeting, and how not to buy a house in the French countryside.It is HILARIOUS This started off so promisingly with snarky but charming British banter about France s little annoying idiosyncrasies that anyone who has spent any time in France can appreciate The main character, a British twenty something, chronicles his year living in France while working for a corrupt corporate sleaze bag who wants help marketing tea rooms in Paris It turns out that the main character is also a sleaze bag AND a whinge cow as he so aptly dubs whiners By the month of February I was so si This started off so promisingly with snarky but charming British banter about France s little annoying idiosyncrasies that anyone who has spent any time in France can appreciate The main character, a British twenty something, chronicles his year living in France while working for a corrupt corporate sleaze bag who wants help marketing tea rooms in Paris It turns out that the main character is also a sleaze bag AND a whinge cow as he so aptly dubs whiners By the month of February I was so sick of his God invented women so men have something besides horses to mount and, oh by the way, I only associate with stupid trashy people so that I can reinforce my asinine philosophy and then insult everyone around me syndrome that I almost stopped reading I was ready for the whinge cow to go mount himself However, there were some truly funny moments, most of which involved brilliant phonetic transcriptions of the accent of a Frenchman who had spent time studying in Georgia Those were precious, and so is my favorite new whinge cow expression, but I m not sure they re worth putting up with the rest of the merde You know what I m a French woman and apparently I lack a sense of humour.See, I can admit that we French are far from perfect that s an understatement, really , and everything isn t false in this But silly me, I didn t expect this to be such a big fuckery Because there s only so many misogynists s craps I can take, and if I read another sentence implying that French women are sluts and teases, I almost forgot and or a description of cleavage I m gonna lose it.That s why even if I don t usu You know what I m a French woman and apparently I lack a sense of humour.See, I can admit that we French are far from perfect that s an understatement, really , and everything isn t false in this But silly me, I didn t expect this to be such a big fuckery Because there s only so many misogynists s craps I can take, and if I read another sentence implying that French women are sluts and teases, I almost forgot and or a description of cleavage I m gonna lose it.That s why even if I don t usually rate books that I dnf, I just can t help myself here PS Now, tell me, I m really really curious to see what would happen if I tried to speak French in a shop in UK or US Maybe that s just me, duh, but I m pretty sure people woudn t answer me in a fluent French and you know what I don t expect it Why some people think that everyone is supposed to speak English is beyond me I picked this up in the train station at Charles de Gaulle airport a few minutes before my flight was cancelled and I was forced to spend another day in Paris, almost a year ago Tough life, right I never read it, though.Don t know why, but last week I felt an urge to pick it up Read it in about 26 hours, couldn t put it down.If you have no knowledge of the French, France, or French it might not be terribly interesting If, however, you ve spent a significant portion of your life dealing with, I picked this up in the train station at Charles de Gaulle airport a few minutes before my flight was cancelled and I was forced to spend another day in Paris, almost a year ago Tough life, right I never read it, though.Don t know why, but last week I felt an urge to pick it up Read it in about 26 hours, couldn t put it down.If you have no knowledge of the French, France, or French it might not be terribly interesting If, however, you ve spent a significant portion of your life dealing with, studying or learning them respectively, you might be as entertained by it as I was.Within 2 hours of finishing it, I d purchased the sequel