|KINDLE ♬ Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful ♫ eBooks or Kindle ePUB free
While trying to catch up on listening to Polyamory Weekly I am horribly behind, still working through 2007 , I heard a discussion of Polyamory Roadmaps for the Clueless Hopeful by Anthony Ravenscroft Those involved in the discussion seemed to be put off by the author, but still found a decent number of helpful tidbits throughout I have to say, I agree Ravenscroft is sharp, and has clearly spent a lot of time observing people and relationships His commentary on poly dynamics is really dead on I found countless situations that I ve experienced or witnessed reflected in his writing There is no campaigning for polyamory, no sweeping the difficult aspects under the carpet He presents polyamory as another valid relationship option, not a superior one, and fully acknowledges almost obsessively the tricky dynamics that can be involved Ravenscroft encourages his readers to take the time to think about the possibilities that aren t pleasant, the negative consequences, the potential pitfalls, etc While this can feel pretty depressing, I think it is a good suggestion to help prevent being blindsided when a relationship doesn t go quite as planned And really, how often do relationships follow our happy little scripts He is blunt to a fault, and this line pretty much sums up his writing I prefer prickly honesty over the ticking time bomb of dishonest comfort He doesn t pull any punches, and that s rather refreshing As with most books, I don t agree with him on everything His perspective on safer sex condom use doesn t match my experience at all to him, trust in a partner should be enough that we shouldn t need to specifically lay out our safer sex plans, to the point where he categorizes people who make a big deal about safer sex condom usage specifically as fear mongers using their superior ethics to get partners while not actually being any likely to strictly practice what they preach This may be because my primary experience has been within the BDSM and queer communities, but that part of the book did not ring true at all At the beginning of the book, Ravenscroft admits to his blatant bias he s a heterosexual white guy, and that s the only perspective he knows You will not find much if any discussion of same sex relationships other than girlfriends of his female partners or race class issues Despite this, there are a ton of good ideas and they are written in a very down to earth style I especially appreciate his emphasis on not trying out poly because it s different or cool, and on taking the time before you jump into poly to develop your relationship skills and good, deep friendships Be forewarned, however the author s ego is readily apparent throughout the book By the end, you ll be very aware of how good his communication skills are and how well he satisfies his partners in bed Every once in a while I had to put the book down to get away from the self aggrandizement This, and the unbelievably tiny print, were why it took me so long to make it all the way through If your eyesight isn t great, get out the reading glasses, a magnifying glass, or campaign for a digital version so you can increase the font size All in all, I would recommend this to anyone who is tired of the fluff written about alternative relationship styles and who tends towards the snarky side of life This is definitely one to add to any collection of books on nonmonogamy and polyamory, just prepare to stifle your gag reflex when the author waxes on about himself. Ick, rather unhelpful The writer is a Caucasian upper middle class man who can t seem to manage any advice that would be useful to anyone who isn t It does however, give you an interesting overview of the politicking of the polyamory community and a guideline of sorts for becoming part of a larger polyamory network By and large The Ethical Slut is a much friendly, all purpose reference on this topic. Brilliant book, a must read for people of all relationships, mono, poly or other. Even if polyamory is not your thing, this book offers a lot of useful advice that could potentially help any relationship become sound.Ravenscroft doesn t hide the fact that he is a white, middle class man, and that he can only truly speak from that point of view, but he is also thoughtful, logical, and has interacted with a great variety of people which gives breadth to his personal limitations. It was a read one I ll have to read again, at a later time Highly recommended to everyone interested in building human relationships, even if you re not interested in polyamory at all Well written manual on communication and conflict solving in the context of romance and. |KINDLE ♍ Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful ♈ Tony Ravenscroft leaves behind the speculation, the guesswork, and the Utopianism that only confuse the discussion Polyamory Roadmaps for the Clueless Hopeful begins from the absolute basics of intimate relationships, and clearly lays out the pitfalls and problems that await everyone who embarks upon this difficult and highly rewarding way of life Polyamory the book is for everyone with any interest in the subject Whether you re merely curious, or already embroiled in a complex responsibly nonmonogamous life, you will find a greater understanding of what is going on Even if you are happily married for the rest of your life, you will improve your relationships with the other people in your life Even a book this large can only hope to answer half your questions Tony Ravenscroft does that, and shows you how to find your own answers for the rest.