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This is one of the most unique and funny books I ve read lately It combines the style of a Raymond Chandler novel with the whimsy of Babe Picture a world inhabited only by animals, where cats and dogs are the dominant species, but they go about their daily lives and jobs as humans would in our world.The writing is brisk and sharp I found it amazing how many items, acts, and events in our world could be transposed into feline and canine descriptions, as well as animal characters McNash s down This is one of the most unique and funny books I ve read lately It combines the style of a Raymond Chandler novel with the whimsy of Babe Picture a world inhabited only by animals, where cats and dogs are the dominant species, but they go about their daily lives and jobs as humans would in our world.The writing is brisk and sharp I found it amazing how many items, acts, and events in our world could be transposed into feline and canine descriptions, as well as animal characters McNash s down to earth narrative style sets the stage and the pace, contrasting him with the well to do, upper class diction of Lap the Siamese They are a perfect team of black and white, opposing forces, who are forced to work together to discover the mastermind behind the plot The names of the characters fit perfectly, as well as some of them being perfect puns I caught myself laughing aloudthan once at the opinions put into their mouths For something new and different and highly entertaining, try The Unscratchables Dare I hope for a sequel Interesting read I both loved and hated it Hilarious at some moments and idiotically inane at others, it has a brilliance unto itself As a writer, I can t imagine how complicated rewriting our world into a world of cats and dogs, so in that way, I tip my hat to Mr Kane I can t say the book was completely my taste however relying on puns and turns of common phrases into dog and catspeak. Crusher McNash is not thrilled when a murder case gets him paired with Siamese cat Cassius Lap Crusher, a bull terrier, is not only worried about his image having to be seen around town with a cat, he also doesn t like the way Lap is able to make him obey commands The pair investigate some mysterious murders where rottweillers are torn apart by an ordinary housecat, which is only the tip of the iceberg in a nefarious scheme While they try to solve the crime, Lap makes McNash aware of the psyc Crusher McNash is not thrilled when a murder case gets him paired with Siamese cat Cassius Lap Crusher, a bull terrier, is not only worried about his image having to be seen around town with a cat, he also doesn t like the way Lap is able to make him obey commands The pair investigate some mysterious murders where rottweillers are torn apart by an ordinary housecat, which is only the tip of the iceberg in a nefarious scheme While they try to solve the crime, Lap makes McNash aware of the psychological warfare going on everywhere around them, and in the end they become the Unscratchables.I generally enjoy a creative allegory, and while this book did have a few recommendable aspects, they couldn t overcome its flaws Bad puns are taken to a brand new level here, appearing in every paragraph and encompassing every aspect of the story I was already rolling my eyes just a few pages in, and it only gottedious as the story wore on Though some skill was used in the differing personas of Lap and McNash, I found Crusher s inner dialoguethan just slightly annoying One of the best things I can say is that this book was short, and I won t be seeking out anyof its kind When I started reading this, I thought I might not get far as it seemed kind of corny at first, the feline and canine puns were a bit much But as I ventured further into The Kennels and Kathattan I realized this crime tale was muchthan cheesy jokes It really had claws, it had bite, and actually turned out to be a decent social commentary on today s society Very good read, I m glad I stuck with it. This was a fun and surprisingly good murder mystery set in a world entirely populated by anthropomorphized dogs and cats When two canine gangsters are murdered, no nonsense bull terrier Detective Crusher McNash is paired much to his chagrin with a cultured Siamese from the Feline Bureau of Investigation, Cassius Lap Together they make a sort of Oscar and Felix combo As you may predict, the pet puns come at you a mile a minute With so much wordplay, it s not surprising that many of the gags This was a fun and surprisingly good murder mystery set in a world entirely populated by anthropomorphized dogs and cats When two canine gangsters are murdered, no nonsense bull terrier Detective Crusher McNash is paired much to his chagrin with a cultured Siamese from the Feline Bureau of Investigation, Cassius Lap Together they make a sort of Oscar and Felix combo As you may predict, the pet puns come at you a mile a minute With so much wordplay, it s not surprising that many of the gags fall flat The best jokes are those that aresubtle and aimed at readers who already have knowledge of the canine and feline worlds A seedy motel is called The In Season Crusher recalls a terrifying battle with blue eyed foes at Seal Point A doggie horror flick is called The Unfamiliar And the city newspaper is titled The Daily Growl, a reference that should elicit instant recognition from anyone who s shopped in the pet supply aisle any time in the past 30 years Interestingly, the author uses his furry heroes to make numerous points about the nature of society, as well I laughed out loud at this passage, and it had nothing to do with Fido jokes Swerving around all of these I tried to map out an escape route, but all the streets branching off Conformist Way Neurosis Alley, Depression Court, Futility Lane were dead ends.I like this guy.Is it bad that the entire time I read this, I thought of what a good movie it would make I recommend this welcome diversion to all animal lovers This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers To view it, click here I picked up this book mostly because I wanted something mindless and dumb to read over the Memorial day weekend It takes about a weekend to read too.This book met that goal to a degree, but it also surprised me in it s biting satire sorry, pun intended.It s an old plot Hard boiled detective forced to work with a prissy FBI agent, somehow they come to respect and even like each other Kane borrows a bit from the genre There is even a serial killer straight out of Silence of the Lambs and I picked up this book mostly because I wanted something mindless and dumb to read over the Memorial day weekend It takes about a weekend to read too.This book met that goal to a degree, but it also surprised me in it s biting satire sorry, pun intended.It s an old plot Hard boiled detective forced to work with a prissy FBI agent, somehow they come to respect and even like each other Kane borrows a bit from the genre There is even a serial killer straight out of Silence of the Lambs and no it s not Buffalo Bill.The detective is an anthropomorphized dog and the FBI stands for the Feline Bureau of Investigation What I like is that Kane does something that I ve never really seen before in this type of fiction The dogs, for the most part, act like dogs For example, there is no indoor plumbing and since dogs don t do well on ladders, roofs often leak A dog will throw flea powder on like you and I use deodorant It s a nice touch and makes the world a little bitbelievable The cats have their own issues and their world, while not as drawn out as the dogs world, is still logical What really surprised me about the novel however is the social commentary This world is split between the haves the cats and the have not s the dogs We get an earful about Fox News in this case ran by an actual fox , social engineering, how politics use command words into tricking us and their is such a thing as Neuro linguistic Programing and a variety of other social ills All designed to keep the dogs in their place.How the powers that be do this is exposed by a botched murder and the subsequent hunt for the murder I won t spoil anyof the plot.Cornelius Kane pen name for writer Anthony O Neill has a lot to tell, and frankly that s part of the problem for me This book needs to be a bit longer, a few less puns are in order and the book ends on a pun you can see from a mile away.Frankly I didn t care for the ending that I m not going to give away I also thought that the ending felt rushed This book felt like it was written for middle school age kids Which is not a bad thing, but forsophisticated readers it can be flat and boring in places, overall I think they will be disappointed in the book.Now that being said, would I recommend this book to others Yes So there s a dog detective trying to solve a gruesome murder Clues begin to point to the murderer being A CAT So a prissy cat from Kathattan, from the FBI Feline Bureau of Investigation joins the investigation But the dog detective hates Siamese cats Will they get along No But then yes.There are all the archetypes of the dime store novel, but as dogs or cats Mob bosses, corrupt side kick cops, insane serial killers, etc The Hannibal Lector character is named Quentin Riossiti Q R So there s a dog detective trying to solve a gruesome murder Clues begin to point to the murderer being A CAT So a prissy cat from Kathattan, from the FBI Feline Bureau of Investigation joins the investigation But the dog detective hates Siamese cats Will they get along No But then yes.There are all the archetypes of the dime store novel, but as dogs or cats Mob bosses, corrupt side kick cops, insane serial killers, etc The Hannibal Lector character is named Quentin Riossiti Q Riossiti Get it There are a million dog or cat puns in this novel There s also a somewhat interesting undercurrent of a conspiracy that lampoons American infantilism through consumerism, and so you are led to believe there will be a big pay off at the end This novel, while sort of silly, will lead to something Right When the dog detective and cat agent finally, finally find the feral murderer, finally there will be some point to all of it Right RIGHT No Q Riossiti redeems himself by saving the life of the dog detective.And the big payoffis the line Twas Q Riossiti killed the Cat THE END.THAT S IT.WHAT.NO.But yes sigh That is not a spoiler, no, nothing is spoiled, because the entire book leads up to the exact absence of substance.Okay, so there s an Epilogue about the dog and cat teaming up and taking on corruption as the Unscratchables, but really, what a lazy ending Awful Or should I say, pawful I found this book on the shelves in the rehab facility and it was peculiar, but intriguing.The name Cornelius Kane is the pseudonym for a well known Australian author, but I have no idea who this might be I went to the Cornelius Kane page on Simon and Schuster and enjoyed reading Author Revealed comments For example Q WHAT ARE YOUR MOST OVERUSED WORDS OR PHRASES A Do that again and I ll kill ya Q WHAT DO YOU REGRET MOST A Last time I said that Seeat I found this book on the shelves in the rehab facility and it was peculiar, but intriguing.The name Cornelius Kane is the pseudonym for a well known Australian author, but I have no idea who this might be I went to the Cornelius Kane page on Simon and Schuster and enjoyed reading Author Revealed comments For example Q WHAT ARE YOUR MOST OVERUSED WORDS OR PHRASES A Do that again and I ll kill ya Q WHAT DO YOU REGRET MOST A Last time I said that Seeat to the book The story involves a bull terrier detective named Crusher McNash who has to team up with a Siamese agent from the Feline Bureau of Investigation yes, the FBI from Kathatten named Cassius Lap to solve the brutal murders to two Rottweilers The FBI is involved because evidence points to a feline as the murderer.Puns abound Brad Pitbull, Jack Russell Crowe, are mentioned in a list of celebrities, and McNash carries a Schnauzer gun.Yes, there are obvious parallels to human behavior, and while bizarre, I found this book difficult to put down It was written using the style and language of the hard boiled detectives like Marlowe and Dashiell Hammett s creations.Now, if I could figure out who Cornelius Kane is The observant among my followers and friends may have observed that I added this book to the Currently Reading shelf and it moved to the Read shelf in less than 24 hours.This celerity reflects two things 1 I m on vacation at the moment and have eventime than usual to read and 2 the literary heft of this social satire.It s not a bad or unenjoyable read Kane creates a world of Dogs and Cats that mirrors modern Western civilization in its growing inequality between Haves mainly the Ca The observant among my followers and friends may have observed that I added this book to the Currently Reading shelf and it moved to the Read shelf in less than 24 hours.This celerity reflects two things 1 I m on vacation at the moment and have eventime than usual to read and 2 the literary heft of this social satire.It s not a bad or unenjoyable read Kane creates a world of Dogs and Cats that mirrors modern Western civilization in its growing inequality between Haves mainly the Cats and the Have Nots mainly the Dogs , celebrity culture, media manipulation, and the dumbing down of culture, among other topical issues The two main characters are Crash McNash, a bull terrier cop, and Cassius Lap, a Siamese cat agent of the FBI Feline Bureau of Investigation who s called in to help investigate a murder that may involve a feral cat There s also a cast of stock characters one might find inhuman centered crime books the gruff but basically decent precinct captain, a couple of Mafiosi dons w bad Italian accents, and an evil media mogul Phineas Reynard, clearly a mix of Rupert Murdoch and Silvio Berlusconi , for example.Kane skewers both the bread and circuses culture of the hoi polloi as well as the hedonistic, me culture of the elite but the greatest failure of the book, and what makes it a 2 star, is that there s no anger behind the satire, or at least outrage Without that underlying passion, it s just an amusing trifle soon forgotten `DOWNLOAD EPUB ⇺ The Unscratchables ☠ Animal FarmmeetsThe Simpsons in this inventive twiston the hard boiled detective novel, featuring a world made up exclusively of cats, dogs, and one ruthless foxBull terrier Crusher McNash is a no nonsense homicide detective who eats out of the can and only bathes when his boss orders him to He s just been thrownaboneaboutagruesome case involving Rottweilers torn apart by a savage killer, and the only lead he s been able to sniff out is an impression of movement at the murder scene Crusher suspects the killer is a cat, and there s nothing he hates than the whole cream lapping, wool juggling, pajama wearing, fence sitting, bird torturing, furball coughing lot of them But he ll have to start barking up a different tree if he wants help solving this case as his partner on this case is soymilk drinking, pressed suit wearing Cassius Lap, an agent for the FBI Feline Bureau of InvestigationAs this odd couple puts their paws together, their investiga tion takes them from the bow els of the Kennel into the tony streets of Kathattan Soon, they begin to uncover a vast con spiracy involving a cat who has been trained as a super killer, capable of growing in size and ferocity and killing any dog who gets in his way and who may be working for a media baron fox But they ll need to unravel the conspiracy, and quickly, if they want to stop the next killing before it s too lateWitty and irresistibly entertaining, this genre bending mystery boldly mixes human and animal sensibilities in an entertaining satire of our cur rent society